I laid in bed, waiting, hoping, wondering. How long before I have to test again? Oh right, not for another hour. I really need sleep, sorry... diabetes isn't going to let you tonight. My day started with cappuccino and friends collaborating on what we can do with our kids on their 15th day off of school (not that we are counting the days until they go back, only 3 more to go!!!) Bowling seemed like a great activity as tobogganing was out of the question since we already did that with 9 kids just 3 days prior and I am still wondering how we all survived without a trip to the hospital. So bowling it is. 6 kids, 5 adults. Not a bad ratio as I am normally outnumbered 7 children to 1 adult. Had breakfast, gave insulin, had lunch, gave insulin, went bowling, had snack, gave insulin. Now comes the complicated part. It's site change day! Every 3 days I have to change Griffon's insulin pump site (also known as: stabbing my son with a large ass needle). The last two site changes have been really rough on me as the first one I had missed the spot that was numbed with Maxilene cream and it hurt him going in so he screamed a little then cried for a few seconds. The last one just was a fluke. I don't know what happened but wow did he ever scream and cry! After all was done and I was on my own in the kitchen, I had myself a good cry too. It's so hard keeping it in and trying to be strong for him when all I feel is hurt that he has to go through this and there's not a damned thing I can do about it but continue to be strong for him. As I awaited the outcome of today's site change, I did all that I could to make this one smooth, pain free, on target and distract Griffon by cracking a joke just before the needle. If you know my son, you know it doesn't take much to get his attention, especially when the joke is about hockey. Just a little wince and back to asking me to tell him another joke. So here I am, feeling like the smoothest cat on the block. I just did a site change and not one tear was shed from either of us. I don't know about you, but that calls for a beer! Gather two friends, head to our favorite watering hole and cheers to a night out without having to think about Juvenile Diabetes for a couple of hours. I get the message halfway through our lovely evening, Griffon's 15.2. Ok, no worries. He just had dinner a couple of hours ago and his cold is still affecting his sugar levels a little bit, all should be fine. I give the go ahead to his Dad to continue his snack as normal and I will see what his sugars are later. I get a message that he's barely had any carbs and that he's just over 20. Something's not right. Time to finish my beer, get the check and head home. Site change. Bed time. Not for me though. First test since site change: HI. I wish I could just wave at the glucometer and say HI back but what I really want to do is flip it the bird until it reads 8.0. HI is just a nice way of telling you that your child is in trouble, that his blood sugar is over 33.3 but the glucometer can't tell you how high he really is because it can't read past that level. Luckily with the pump, I can put that number in and it issues insulin and I even went that one step further and gave him extra insulin to bring him down quickly. Griffon was feeling the effects of being high so the quicker I got him down, the better. Only downfall to that is he can keep dropping to a level that gets dangerous. Hence the waiting, hoping, wondering. It's 3:01am and here I am waiting to test again, hoping he's come down to a safe level and wondering, will tonight be the night I lose my son? Not on my watch. I will lose a night of sleep, but I will gain my son talking my ear off about hockey as he wraps his arms around me just because he can tell I need a bigger hug today.
